Winston-Salem, North Carolina

TPAP Day Zero (Travel Day)

Failed Transportation: 7:30am flight to Charlotte; getting on 12pm flight to Charlotte (You were 8th on standby, calm down sis); 1:46pm flight to Charlotte (left around 2); getting on 4:10pm flight to Greensboro; 7:20pm arrival in Greensboro (stayed on tarmac for an extra hour)

Succesful Transportation: bus to airport at 4:30am; luggage came at GSO airport; getting to Wake Forest from GSO

-> What was supposed to be a 6-hour travel day turned into a 12-hour disaster. Thanks, American Airlines. You royally sucked at everything you tried to accomplish for me.

TPAP Day One

We did a peculiar exercise at the end of the day today. “Crossing the Line” meant that everyone stood on one side of the room without talking while an announcer declared statements for us to agree/disagree on. You could also decide how much you agreed/disagreed by distance travelled across. I found myself very alone, and emotionally up and down. It makes sense that I felt alone though because each of us, faculty included, stood as individuals. I rode the wave of being completely uncomfortable and completely obsessed with the exercise. I wanted to stop some questions but others made me intoxicated with the gossip of it. “I am funny” was a nice and easy one while “I have been called a faggot” brought the whole room to silence (even more than already). “I have had suicidal thoughts” brought me to shed one tear while “I am an adult” had me totally proud of my decision to stand at the complete other side of the room. We were tasked to find eye contact with others once making a decision and that was very difficult for me. Some people cried, some stayed stoic. Reminded me of Leadership Camp at St. Matt’s and it made me feel part of a community. We finished off with writing our fears on a wall. What a long day.

TPAP Day Two

I don’t understand the reference. I don’t understand the reference. I don’t understand the reference. I don’t understand the reference. I don’t understand the reference. I don’t understand the reference. I don’t understand the reference. I don’t understand the reference. But I can get my leg up…?

TPAP Day Six

This morning, my thoughts are racing with speed and confusion. I feel conflicted. I want to try and plan everything so that I take control of the situations I’ll be faced with each day but I also want to try listening to the director’s suggestion of being flexible to surprises. I hate surprises. They bore me and make me feel like I don’t deserve them. The other thought in my mind is that I am slowly becoming someone different than myself due to simply being around these people for 3 weeks. I don’t see anything wrong with them it’s just that I don’t want to be persuaded in any way. I can be/talk/dress/eat exactly as I am while co-existing with other unique people… Right?

TPAP Day Ten

One of the things I’m battling with is staying present. There are so many interactions happening in my daily routine here that I don’t really have time to re-play these moments after they occur. So I find myself thinking about them during class or during a scene when I’m supposed to REALLY be in the moment. I guess I am not used to this level of extrovertism because back home, I only spend about half my day with people; the other half travelling alone, in my room or just by myself. Also I don’t think I’ve spoken this much in my life. I’m being asked to give my opinion on every subject and that is really new to me. I am used to shutting up, moving silently, listening first, making sure I don’t interrupt… This kind of personality is scary to me because I could say something I don’t mean. On the first day of classes, my teacher told me I eloquently described the most beautiful thing in my life, but I was just making sure my words were concise, articulate and meaningful. I patiently spoke. Now on day 10, I feel very impatient and like I’ve adopted this conversational habit of always starting a sentence and not knowing where it’s going… like now…

TPAP Day Fourteen

As I looked out from the top right bleacher of the Ring Theatre, there was so much chaos. Hyper-reality took over and people screamed while staying in character yet. Oddly enough, I didn’t feel like I belonged. I don’t have the skill set or the confidence (really) to stay so committed to an improvised role while there is no audience to watch. What’s the point? Why would it serve our art form to act/pretend to be a character with a full backstory if not for an outside eye? The only people watching are also in character and therefore not active audience members. I guess it shows me how ensemble-based theatre people can be. They want to work with others.

One thing I managed to get a hold of was “the zone”. So that’s neat.

My fourth night in New York City.

The strangest feelings came to me on my 4th night in NYC. 

I decided to go see The Waverly Gallery at the John Golden Theatre. The cast was stacked with Michael Cera, Élaine May, Joan Allen, David Cromer and to my delight, Lucas Hedges. I’ve always had a little crush on Lucas since I saw him in Manchester by the Sea (another Kenneth Lonergan piece of work). His talent and cuteness won me over right away.

So when I got my ticket (only $66 by the way- what a steal!), I ran back to the place I was staying at to clean up a bit. What if I run into him? What if he runs into me? What if we get married tonight? What if by some crazy chance, he bumps into me and feels so bad about it that he gets me into a bar and buys me champagne that makes me giggle with happiness and we end up spending the rest of our lives together in New York as two working actors who just want to get through life together? These were the thoughts in my head. Why did I want so badly for him to bump into me?

I arrived early enough at the theatre to scope out some celebrities. I knew that on a Friday night, this show would have a packed audience with friends of the cast coming to visit. Coincidently, I spotted Kate Burton, who played Ellis Grey (THEE Grey from Grey’s Anatomy). Her poise as she talked to some guy in the aisle had me realizing that tv stars are real people too. What a cool thing to be so close to her though.

The show began and the first scene had Lucas right into the action. I started to internally smile so wide. Couldn’t blow my cover, though. The show went on and I wanted so badly to be able to discuss it with the cast afterwards. Mostly Lucas, but I would give my left big toe to just have a conversation with the cast about the sad but charming story of these characters. Thank goodness I looked cute because I knew that if I got the chance, I could win Lucas over and get him to buy me a drink. 

What an idiotic thought that was.

By intermission, I needed to walk around to clear my head and so I decided to walk closer to the stage to check out the ceiling of the theatre and the foreground flat that covered the stage during scene changes. You know, theatre stuff. When I came to the closest part of the aisle that I could, a 40-something man beside me was giving me strange looks. I turned away from him knowing full well that as a young, alone woman, I am a prime suspect for something to happen. As it turned out, he asked me what I thought of the show. I answered to him but kept my body orientation towards the stage. I wasn’t really interested in talking to him. He proceeded to ask me about my life and why I was here and I felt like I had to respond. I wanted to just explore the theatre and not be bothered but he was very polite and I felt inclined to start a conversation. I tried to ask him about his life, as any adult would, but he kept the flow of questions projected at me. We talked about my cottage, and the fact that I am a dancer and his strange gaze never left my eyes or my body. Once the show was about to begin again, I told him to enjoy the second half and he asked me if I wanted to hang out afterwards. My anxiety kicked in and I muddled to him that I had to go to bed. What a childish thing to say. It wasn’t that he was being rude or anything it’s just that I was an underage, alone in the city woman who just didn’t get a good vibe from this person. I’m sure he was very kind but he was also alone and seemed to be wanting more than just to hang out. Also where would we go if I can’t get into the bars? So, I did my best to let him down and walked back to my seat.

I could have said “To be honest, I don’t really know you and I don’t have anyone I could go to if you were a serial killer rapist who ended up drugging me.” But, I kept it light this time.

The show finished and my mind was excited to try and find Lucas. There didn’t seem to be any other audience members at the stage door so I assumed that it wasn’t a thing. Bummer. I walked slowly towards the subway, hoping that maybe Lucas was a fast dresser and wanted to get out of the theatre fast enough to bump into me on the street. Again, more bumping thoughts… It’s New York City. Anything could happen!

On my way home, two other random men cat-called me as I walked. Great. One of them even Joey Tribbiani-ed me and said “How You Doin’?” Classic New Yorker. Are these the guys I get so dolled-up for?

I began to wonder why I put so much expectation on myself to win the affection of a celebrity actor. What arrogance did I have that I could imagine my night going that way? All I got were disappointing interactions with men that I just didn’t care for. But maybe that’s who I attract. Maybe I’m just destined to be in the arms of a much older man than me who is lonely for attention.

I made it a promise to myself that I would try to find love this year. It’s 2019, I’ve never had a boyfriend for longer than a month and I need to get on with it. No more waiting around for Prince Charming. Or Lucas Hedges for that matter. 

If I expect fate to play out like a movie scene, all I will get is the lonely scums that want me for the most superficial reasons. Sorry, girl. It’s just how it is. 

And that was how my 4th night in NYC went.

Poros/Athens, Week 4

What makes you unique?

I guess what makes me unique is the length of my eyelashes. I have seen longer lengths than mine but I have always found a sense of confidence with them. It takes me awhile to put mascara on and I have to make sure I give myself the time to do it. I find it nice to feel a sense of security with my eyelashes because I have so many insecurities everywhere else.

What kind of world do you want to see?

One with more love. I think it is a no-brainer that love is the answer to all problems. And it doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual love, but kind, thoughtful or warm love. The more that humans can connect to their capacity to love, the better the world will be on all fronts.

If greed and money didn’t get in the way, I think it would be much easier for humans to love. I’m guilty of that too. I know that feeling accomplished is also a primitive instinct for humans but I think there is value in helping another person. You can find a purpose in the success of others. I know we can.

What would you ask for if a genie gave you three wishes?

  1. A personal chef. I hate cooking. I really don’t know why. It gives me so much anxiety and stress, I would rather someone else choose what I should eat. I understand that it gives some people a great deal of pride to cook, but I feel uneasy about it. The best I can do is pasta and even then, the recipe better be simple.
  2. A lunch date with Julie Andrews. She is my idol and inspiration in my life and career, and it would be an honour to sit down with her for tea. I would ask her about filming The Sound of Music in Austria, about what the industry used to be like, about her favourite song, about her thoughts on religion and purpose, about her darkest thoughts; I have so much to ask. Her elegance and gait amaze me every time I see on the screen. She is perfection.
  3. For my memory to erase after I watch the movie Across the Universe so I can be surprised by its beauty. I absolutely adore this film but I hate the fact that I already know what’s going to happen. The first time I watched it, I felt so changed as an 11-year old. Now, I watch it and find more incredible discoveries but nothing will beat the first time.

What would you do if money were no object?

I think I would donate it to third-world countries and charities that support mental illness. Theses two causes have impacted me the most and they deserve attention from wealthy people. I would be too much pressure for me to have an infinite amount of money so I would want to share it and give back to those who are living with disease and/or physical and mental limitations. There isn’t any material or product that would feel satisfying as a purchase, so I’d rather go about my current life and help others with this crazy wealth.

If I could solve world poverty and still have money, I think I would buy my cottage property and put on parties every summer. Just like Gatsby.

If there was still money to spend, then I would move to New York City and live in my own apartment with two cats. ONLY THEN would I do that.

Who believed in you even when you didn’t?

My counsellor. She has helped me push through a tough year and still keeps me at bay when things are rough. Her support and patience was exactly the kind of help I needed. My family and friends were a big part as well but when it comes down to the dark, disturbing thoughts, I found it more efficient to speak to an unbiased third-party. I don’t want my problems to cloud over the people I care most about.

I lost all hope in living last year. I found life to be difficult every single day and nothing had meaning anymore. I didn’t want to get out of bed and I struggled to keep with my training and studies for most of last year. My counsellor was there to listen to these thoughts and suggest positive thinking exercises to guide me towards the light. I am still recovering from the aftermath of that year. Panic attacks and depressed nights still come over me but they are fewer. I’m so grateful she could be a sense of direction for me.

How are you building your clan?

I think I haven’t built one yet. So I will plan for it.

If I understand this question correctly, a clan or a network or a family is the community of people that I choose to surround myself with. These people should challenge me, encourage me, and respect me as I do the same for them. Right? Because when we talk about friendship, I am past the idea that a friend is just someone who shares a marker with you. A friend has complicated feelings who accepts that I do too.

So, it would be ideal if my clan was made up of my closest friends, my family (and extended), my professors and classmates, my fellow artists who may be more successful than me. and the role models that I look up to. To be a part of a community as crazy as the artistic one is, is a blessing.

How do you stand out from the crowd?

I would say by being a confident woman. As a “minority” (even though we make up half of the population), women are treated as a second position to men. The amount of oppression in our current society tears down the self-esteem of most women. If I stay grounded but proud to be a female, I know things can change. It really only takes one person. I try to be comfortable in my skin and I take independence very seriously. I don’t need another woman to come with me to the bathroom. I don’t need a boyfriend to follow around this world. I can make my own choices and fall in love as much as I want to.

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Hydra, Week 3

Who do you need to forgive and why?

Last summer, I was run over on my foot by a car that happened to not see me when I was walking across a driveway. I was on my way to work as a dance teacher and had to stop working for 3+ weeks because of the damage. Although it was an accident and I’m lucky to be alive and healthy, I still feel hatred toward the driver. He didn’t speak English and tried to rub my foot immediately after the accident. So, he probably caused more swelling and stress to my ankle. I need to find a way to forgive him and not hold a grudge. I just think it was something that took away my ability to move for at least a month and it made me so unhappy during that time.

What is calling you?

In my life, I think there are many things calling me. I feel an urge or a burst of inspiration from somewhere and I have to follow it. I can’t let it dissolve or else my frustration starts to build. I start to lose my sense of self if I don’t follow my intuition.

In my career, I think I listen to instincts that gear towards many projects at once. I don’t want to do only one thing and I hate being bored. I think I am called by opportunities that come my way and I don’t want to pass them up. Even if it means that my schedule is jam-packed with meetings, rehearsals, appointments, etc, I like to stay occupied. My dad always said that every opportunity has the potential to be an important one. He is wise in knowing that I should always keep doors open. Never limit myself.

In my daily life, I am called by the energy of other people. I love to sit and “people-watch” so I can silently learn from the body language and interactions that I observe. I hope no one thinks I’m stalking them… haha. I find I can always feed off of what is going on around me and I find new changes in myself once I’ve experienced a new person/circumstance. I love to be alone, don’t get me wrong, but as my depression started to grow, I didn’t like being by myself anymore. It scared me. I want to feel comfortable to balance time as an introvert as well as an extrovert.

Greece has helped me call other things into my life. I look for nature as a guide more frequently, and I make sure to keep a healthy mind-set whenever I can.

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

If I could not fail in any way, I think I would steal the spot of a concert pianist and play for a crowd of thousands at Radio City Music Gall. My fingers would hit every key perfectly as the petal bounced under my foot. My trolls would sound effortless and my body would sway with ease as I become one with the sounds. Piano was most of my life as a child and I finished some exams by just barely passing. I wasn’t amazing but I learned a lot from the discipline it takes. It has so much to do with perfection and it can only be done well with practice. But I usually got lazy with it, and would refuse to practice. I never liked the polishing, only the performing. That’s why, if I had the most magical fingers for one night, would serenade a NY audience with a Chopin or a Brahms piece and everything would be PERFECT! Sigh… if only. My grandpa would be so proud.

If there was a natural disaster and you had to evacuate your city, what three things would you bring with you?

Without a doubt, my first precious object would be my stuffed bear. His name is Beary and he has been with me through it ALL. He is the only boyfriend I’ll need when I’m gone from my city.

Secondly, I think I would grab my computer. Now, I know that seems materialistic and pathetic. However, I use my computer mostly to download music, organize it, and edit it. All the songs and playlists I’ve built up over the 5 years I’ve had my computer mean so much to me and it would be a shame to see them go. I’ve worked hard to develop a library that I know will only keep growing and I cannot say goodbye yet.

For my last prize possession, I would bring my favourite book, My Most Excellent Year. I’ve read this novel maybe six times and it is so fun and cute that I can’t stop reading it. The characters go through a coming-of-age story and at the end there is a musical being put on! My kind of book! It helps me to relax and enjoy the wonders of making mistakes. I think it would be useful to have on hand if a sad natural disaster strikes.

Also, if we are getting technical, I would bring my anti-depressant pills… but I’d like to think I could function without them at that point…

What is your wildest dream?

My wildest dream is to be a bird. I wish so much to feel the wind as I fly through the sky. I really wish I was a bird so I could see things differently. Literally, and figuratively. I want to laugh at puny humans as I soar above the clouds without any interruption. This dream comes to me when I feel trapped by the limitations of being a human. My need for airtime stems from the idea that maybe in a past life, I was a bird. I like to imagine myself knowing the best lookout trees, and the best worms and seeds to slobber down. I imagine myself communicating with my bird friends as we take off towards the sun. The concept of reincarnation has a huge effect on me as I try to understand death. I want to believe there is more life after I die and I think it would be wild and amazing to return to my animal spirit for another go.

If I were a bird, I would be a swallow.

If you could become an expert in any subject or activity, what would it be?

I would choose figure skating with Scott Moir. He is an amazing partner and I would love to take Tessa Virtue’s talent for myself so I could glide in his arms. I watch them both with such awe because they are the perfect pair with so much trust in each other. To have the skill and training that they have would be incredible, and it is my most precious fantasy to be lifted into the air by Scott. If only I could get on the ice without falling…

What would you do if you could live a day without consequences?

A day without consequences… what a thought. We are encouraged so strictly to always think of the pros and cons of our choices as it will help us make moral decisions. Therefore, I feel as though I have to abandon everything I know. But I’ll try.

I would immediately take off my clothes and go about my day, naked. I feel so free without the weight of clothes and if I can’t get arrested, it will feel even better!

Next, I would go sky-diving because everything would go smoothly. Maybe bungee-jumping or jet-packing too. There is always a fear that there will be consequences when danger is a possible outcome, so it would be nice to feel immortal for once.

If there’s time, I would write a letter to my ultimate crush Cole Sprouse, confessing my love for him and everything creepy I’ve ever wanted to tell him. As a famous child star, he probably receives these kinds of letters a lot but mine would affect him differently. He would not send a restraining order, hehe 😉 It’s fun to think this way. We would run away together.

As a final hoorah, I think I would eat as much as I want. I would eat ice cream, pasta, cookies, pizza, cinnamon buns, burgers, french fries, cake… because the obvious reasons: I would not gain a single pound. WOO HOO!

Hydra, Week 2

If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be and why?

One thing I would change would be to have blonde hair. I was always told that I’d be prettier like my older sister if my hair was blonde like her I know it’s a very small thing, but it has always made me insecure and even if I dyed my hair right now, it still would make me feel like I never live up to the expectations of others. My appearance is so important to other people and I have to realize that some things were not in my cards. If I could change my hair, it would change my whole attitude as a person. My sister is and always has been more pretty and more physically attractive than me and others have told me I could be more like her rather than try to be the best version of myself.

If you could live anywhere you wanted, where would it be?

If I could live anywhere I wanted I would live in New York City until I am 50 years old. NYC has my favourite kind of energy in it and the people there are so freaking talented. Every time I visit, I feel the air and blood inside me change for the better. The lights, the shows and the crowds. That’s my kind of town!

After I am about 50, I want to live in Australia for my later years. I want to teach and choreograph there so I can learn from the atmosphere that surrounds the artists. I’m not sure where exactly in Australia but somewhere in that continent.

Then, as I grow frail and die, I want to live in Italy. I have never been but I am Italian and I love pasta. I think Rome or Venice or Sicily would be perfect places to pass away from this world. There, I can hear about my Italian ancestors and eat as much pasta as I want.

Is there something you are reluctant to tell someone?

I am reluctant to tell my little sister that the world is a scary place. She is 10 years old and hasn’t really been through traumatic experiences yet. But I want her to stay in a paradise forever and keep her innocence. If I opened up to her about my suicidal thoughts or my depressive actions, I feel as though she wouldn’t be so carefree and happy as she is now. I endured a lot of emotional hurt this past year and have had to hide it from her. I want to share my thoughts and be a good role model but she is just so ignorant and content. Of course, she will eventually go through her own stuff and learn from her own mistakes, but for now, I think it’s best if she doesn’t grow up.

What are you really good at?

This entry is quite difficult for me because I am so unclear about who I am as a person still. I find it hard to pinpoint exactly what my strengths/weaknesses are because they seem to still be in the development process. For the time being, I guess I will write about what I think I was good at, today.

Today, I felt strong in my listening skills. I felt like I really took the time to hear what others had to say and I reacted when I had all the information. Sometimes, I can be very impatient and I will judge people without hearing the whole story. However, today in particular, I was proud of my attentiveness. I wonder if it is because I slept in and rested mid-day. Sleep always seems to help. If I try now to learn fro. This successful day, maybe I can work towards being a better listener every day. You can learn so much from other people and I think it would be wise to work on patience and being more extroverted.

What does “paradise” look like for you?

Paradise is less of an appearance but more of a feeling. For me, when I feel most “paradisey”, it’s when my skin softens and my mind is calm. I have complete control of my senses rather than the opposite when my body/mind are shaking with busyness. If I can let myself feel the paradise, I know I am available for creative activities and collaboration with others. My anxiety has a way of showing up when I need it the least, so I have to work for my paradise. Healthy mind, healthy life.

How would you describe yourself and how would your best friend describe you?

I would describe myself as always changing. I like to be a different person with every rising of the morning sun. My mom sometimes finds this silly but I am inspired by Lady GaGa’s costumed fashion choices. She is never seen in public wearing outfits that reflect similar characters because she knows she has so many inside of her. It is a bit schizophrenic, but I like it. That is how I want to describe my inner personality.

My best friends would describe me as energetically obsessed with Broadway, probably. I think they would also say I am troubled with bed thoughts over all my surface level happiness. They know me better than I do, and I think that is why I gravitate to them so easily. They help me to discover the correct choices and keep me in a moral state of mind.

Three things you would do if you weren’t so afraid.

1. Move to New York City, right now. I keep putting off trips to visit there and keep worrying that I won’t belong there. I need to just move and work hard for what I can get. I want to finish my degree before that but honestly, I’m so anxious to live there full-time.

2. Tell my boss to give me a raise. Seems sort of pathetic but because I love my job as a dance teacher so much, I’m so nervous to mess it up. I wouldn’t want my boss to get the wrong idea. I just really could use the extra money.

3. Audition for ballet companies. I will always have a deep devotion to ballet and since I was 12, I’ve dreamed of being in a ballet company. I was told a few years later that I would never fit the mold and my back was too inflexible. But that won’t stop me from loving ballet and training my butt off in ballet class.

Hydra, Week 1

Lightning round of thoughts, heavenly skies, donkey shit, real-life green screen.

I think I am reluctant to call this place “real” because back home, nothing is this beautiful. I don’t trust it. It will probably take a few days to sink in to believe that people actually live and thrive here. With the houses of white and blue or red, the colours of nature are accented more. Everything around me is clearer. I can see the details in flower petals and I notice fish more easily in the water. Vassilis, our tour guide, has been so welcoming as we arrived and I am thankful that strangers can offer a place to stay. Corrina and Arabella have the most interesting quirks and I am intrigued by their lifestyle. Arabella says she had to struggle to be baptized under that name. It reminds me to be grateful for the upbringing I had. On the other hand, I feel so pleased to be learning about the hardships of others and to be accepting that their culture is just different. Not bad. Different. I think that is the best part of this trip. We get to experience a difference (or a change) from our regular lifestyles. Many people live their lives in the exact same way. But having a change is a blessing, for sure. I wonder how Fatsa, the local dog, feels knowing only this place her whole life. This island is truly one of a kind. It reminds me of the island in Lost. As we boated to the shore, I looked for a personality in the hills and mountains. From afar it seemed so flat and lifeless. How wrong was I to think that! The community of Hydriots have so much character to them. It is so amazing to be able to talk with new faces.

Three things I can’t go without.

Firstly, if music didn’t exist, I would have so many more problems. As I write this now, my thoughts are being brought out by a gorgeous playlist of music from Corrina’s library. There is something so magical about a song. I could never live in a healthy way without music.

Secondly, my little sister has the ability to make any day better for me. It’s incredible that I lived without her for 10 years because when she was born, every part of life had more energy to it. I was happier, more thoughtful and made more sense of things. She is my light.

Lastly, I would feel lost without human connection. I seem to be very nervous of social media nowadays because I’m afraid it will kill off any interactions that occur face-to-face. Especially in our Western society, I find people I meet have trouble holding a conversation with me. Being in Hydra so far has been so refreshing to get to converse with new people and understand their way of living.


What is the most memorable part of this trip?

For me, the celebration of the Greek Revolution was the most memorable part because I felt so welcomed. The announcer spoke in a English as well as Greek, making us understand the history and importance of this day. While I was sitting and looking out onto the water, I couldn’t help but want to cry. The atmosphere had such a depth to it that I’ve never felt before. I feel so lucky to have this experience in my life. I started to videotape the ceremonial burning of the ship so that I could remember it forever but then I realized I wasn’t being present in the moment. The fact that I was watching the event from a camera screen made me cringe. So, I put down my phone just in time for the fireworks and truly felt like I belonged somewhere special. I knew that where I was, was exactly where I was meant to be. The coordination of the explosions in time with the music was breathtaking. The most spectacular thing I have ever seen. It flowed so smoothly and effortlessly that my jaw stayed open the entire time. My favourite sequence was when the music had a run in it and about 6 fireworks blasted in a glorious canon. Perfection. Quite possibly, it was the most memorable part of my life, but I know this trip is just getting started.

What would your perfect day be like?

Version A:

9am – wake up and make an eggs, bacon, fruit salad breakfast (eat slowly to enjoy my food)

10am – walk my dog around my neighbourhood and listen to a podcast to get my brain thinking

11am – visit the gym/a dance studio for exercise

1pm – bike to my job as a Broadway performer

1:30pm – rehearsals, then do make up and pin curls for the show later

8pm – perform the show and then have time to meet the audience outside the stage door (we would gawk about how much we love theatre and NYC)

11pm – return home to my dog for a good night’s sleep

Version B:

10am – wake up to pancakes and watch Netflix

1am – go to sleep if I’m lazy enough

What do you hope to learn about yourself?

On this trip, I hope to learn about if I can truly take care of myself. There have been instances when I travel where I’ve made things worse for myself or forgotten to give TLC to my body. I hope to learn about proper mindfulness and practice positive thinking whenever I can. The change in setting will hopefully help with this. Also this trip sort of feels like a fresh start. I hope that I can use the island as an environment to try to be a different person. Obviously, I don’t want to completely abandon my morals, but I want to try putting on new hats. New personality, new way of dressing, or even new everything. Just to see what it would be like.

What grand adventures do you hope to go on?

In my life, I hope to go on adventures such as marriage, natural childbirth and death by old age.

Marriage is something very sacred in my family and I have learned from watching my parents and grandparents as they stay together for 25 years and 53 years, respectively. It is very inspiring to me.

Natural childbirth has always intrigued me since I was the only sibling to be birthed in a natural way. Although it may be painful and difficult on the body, I believe that all women should go through it and show the world how powerful their bodies can be.

Death by old age has fascinated me ever since my great-grandmother died at the age of 104 years. As I spent time with her up until she died, I saw how fragile but strong she was. Her mind was still full of wisdom even though her body had begun to rot. I want to do her the honour of dying in the same way rather than by illness or accident. Hopefully I will get that choice.

What do you hope to take time for on this trip?

I want to take time for reading and writing above all else. I never get he opportunity to have free time and I think it is important to get off my phone whenever I can. I used to love reading and writing when I was younger and I think because I have more responsibilities now, I have let that part of me go. Being on this island will help me to connect with words again, and bring out my best thoughts. I brought the final book of The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants series and it has helped me remember that Greece is magical. It can change you. I have 2 other books that I want to finish as well. I will be so proud of myself if I even get through one 🙂


My grandparents have the most wonderful apartment to dance in. I am so grateful for that.

Aug 10, 2015


All around the rooms of this spacious and out of my league apartment. The walls hold in their barriers the silent cries of my loneliness. You are near. You seem to be close at least. You are not physically here. You are not near. But but but but but but I know you still care. I get the feeling you want to talk to me but get discouraged because I am travelling. Am I crazy to think that? Am I the one who is discouraged. Nate Ruess was right: we are “nothing without love”.