Favourite tweets of my own twitter account

So, long story short, I will be deleting my Twitter account in the near future. I still love the app and adore the comedians that bust out the best one liners within the platform. But I need a break from the political side of it all. Trump is the worst thing that has ever happened to Twitter and frankly, I think someone should shut it down like they did to Vine.

Allow me to be a bit self-absorbed while I make this list of my favourite (and still important today) tweets that I’ve posted in the last 7 years of my account. I want to document them in one place, so I can show my kids what my random thoughts were like. I am not going to explain any of these tweets. So, enjoy the ambiguity. Sorry in advance.

Just joined twitter!! FINALLY!
9:42 AM – 12 Feb 2011

Go insane, go insane throw some glitter make it rain now now let me see them hands let me let me see them hands! I ❤ Ke$ha’s songs!!!!
7:25 PM – 18 Feb 2011


Guess who’s on level 1000 of Unblock Me?? That’s rite! MOI!
2:54 PM – 23 Feb 2011


So there’s a Hot Wheels bike 4 boys, a Barbie bike 4 girls but there’s no bike 4 aliens!! 😦 Don’t u think they get bored up there in space?


Lemonade Mouth= BEST. MOVIE. EVER!!!!! 😀

9:56 PM – 22 Apr 2011

Well… That was just….. Very disturbing!! Go see a councilor! 🙂


Just watched Never Say Never. Really inspired by some little canadian boy. Live ur CRAZZZYYY life, @justinbieber

11:18 PM – 22 May 2011

U know what? Calm down, I just don’t want to tell u rite now, okay?? Geez

6:05 PM – 30 May 2011

@TheCodySimpson , I just watched ur performance on So Random and LOVED IT!!! Ur sooo talented and I love ur music! #AMAZING


Sitting on the couch watching Phineas and Ferb!! 😀 love this show! #BEAST


Ok so u know how people feel like 1 million bucks? Well… My body feels like a penny…. :S 😦


@tessa_clarke I wanna be so famous that I have to have my babies in Africa! 😉


WOWIE! ADELE SINGING BEAUTIFULLY, CHRIS BROWN FLYING & DANCING, BRITNEY TRIBUTE, and BEYONCÉ PREGGS! 🙂 still #speechless


This is awkward… #b-dayparties when u don’t really know people


Scheiße


Inspiring improv tonight. Learned a lot from watching some IN-CRED-IBLE dancers and friends! Very blessed to have that opportunity! 🙂


Why does music keep me from my homework?? ;P When I’m listening to my iPod while doing hw, & good songs come on, I have to get up & dance!


Friday! School dance and Selena Gomez concert! #lotsoffun


Really happy with my straightened hair today! 🙂 But I just realized I have to put it in a bun for ballet… #waste


Dear weekends, Please never end. K, thanks! Signed, I don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning!


I’m too inspired to go to bed right now….


Spending my last few hours of 2011 watching Boy Meets World. #mychildhood #memories


Just finished the second Hunger Games book. Such a good ending. O.O


All dressed up and ready to go for the #HungerGames premiere. Too bad I can’t see it till next weekend. #lifeasadancer


If I could wear sweatpants and a hoodie everyday, I would… #socomfy


There’s never a dull moment with dance. 🙂 Kinda like it.


Sometimes I just need some time away from everything.


@tessa_clarke: Trinity: you know what they say, you don’t know.” that’s like her catch phrase 😉

6:08 PM – 1 May 2012

These past few days have been so special. So many memories and they will not be forgotten. Love you all. God bless.


It’s difficult for me to say goodbye to something when saying hello is like a second nature.


Ugh. School is so pointless anyways…


Andrew Garfield just quickly became my obsession after that movie. #spidey


Spending National Dance Day at my cabin that doesn’t have electricity. #whoopee -.-


Inspiration can come from anywhere or anyone at any time at any place in your life.


I think too much. Especially at night.


Those car trips where you listen to almost your whole music library. 🙂


CHANNING TATUM ISSS SOOO HOT HE’S MAKING ME MELT


Those people that you could listen to them talk all day. #inspiration #reflecting


I imagine what my body would sound like.


Happy birthday to most astonishing singer I know. @ingridmusic , your music has made me realize there’s no other way to live than to love.


Christmas is the happiest and saddest day of the year.


Sometimes I hate sleep. Sometimes I think it just shouldn’t be a necessity. Then, there would be time to do the things we want. Anyone else?


@CoryMonteith: Gleeks of my Homeland: Don’t miss the return of #Glee – Jan 24 at 9pm ET/PT on @Global_TV” wouldn’t miss it for the world!!


Just keep convincing yourself that you are capable


I absolutely love guys who can sing. #onetruelove


At a loss for words .  .          .


We’re all just constantly trying to locate the “why”


It’s so nice and warm outside. #happyday #happytweet #happyeverything


Grandma, this weekend is for you.


did anyone feel that? Did ANYONE feel that?! DID ANYONE FEEL THAT? -my class right now


No more cue cards. No more cramming. No more papers with useless words on them. I have finished my 9th year of school. 🙂


I desire not to stray… But I must.


Think it’s about time to bring out the heroes for my dizzied-mind called the EARPHONES. #givethemaroundofapplause #theysavemefromeverything


Her


Favourite thing about today? Being in a room with not just dancers but ARTISTS. I’m so grateful that dance can bring us all together. #jump


Thank you @MMRAW for your class today!! It’s so much fun to dance with you. 🙂


#thunderation #warmfuzzies #sallywalker #PostLSCdepression


Going to *$


Just wanna be “cool”


I feel like in the near future we will call each other by our usernames and not our actual names. Woah. Hope not.


The difference in pop culture from 1920’s to 2013 @Andreapolak3


Haven’t cried in awhile. Not sure if that’s a bad thing or a good thing.


I can’t handle @McSensfan


“When I grow up, I want to be a garbage truck because then I go around and see the houses.” -Trinity


Vintage cotton sweaters have become a big part of my life. #mymomhassuppliedme #thankful


Dom is here. I am happy.


The “WOO” in I Will Wait makes my life.


“Work hard, party harder.” -mr shulist’s philosophy. Wise words, my friends.


I listened to 7 Things this morning and it made the start to my day much better. Miley never disappoints.


I’ve got issues but don’t need some tissues thank you very much


You know you can never judge someone’s dancing on just a photo. You have to be present in their movement to realize grasp what you’re seeing


So down to lie down


I really want to bring back skorts.


Trying to hide from our problems is like playing hide and seek in a small room


Special moment: looking into someone’s eyes and they’re looking too and even if it’s for just two seconds, you know they care about you.


Being a teenager in the 80’s probably would have been much better. 🙂


My right hip flexor needs to STOP painfully stabbing me every time I bring my leg above 5 degrees… #firstweekback


Patrick Chan, you are so beautiful on frozen water… GAHH


There is not a single Ingrid Michaelson song that I wouldn’t dance to. Period


Oh wow (Ever realized how many ways this can be read?)


It’s so funny how we can flashback in our flashbacks


You caught me when I was winking


I’m sad to say the only thing I will miss about being 15 is that I need a new theme song. T-swift’s song has expired.


I wish that as soon as you see a cute boy, they are like shielded from other people so that it’s all for you.


Whoever put in the time to write those hearts on everyone’s lockers, bless you. You are making a lot of Tigers happy today!


Come back when you can


So. This is. Amazing.


The fact that Mme Roch told me today that she used to be able to do the splits made my day so much better.


Everytime Heart’s A Mess comes on, I just freaking lose it and have to scream “DESPERATE TO CONNEECTTT”


Toronto, why do I get depressed every time I have to leave you? I swear I will live in you one day.


And a Britney song was on. And a Britney song was on. And a Britney song WAS ON.


“A keather student.” “A what?” “A KEATHER STUDENT!” “Oh a cash register.” “Yes a keather student.”


The Sprouse twins live some seriously rad lives.


Bucket list: go to a performance at 54 Below.


What else can I say? I love my team. I love Ottawa. Good night


Mia Michaels’ class made me so happy. Thank you. @MMRAW 🙂 #neverlandbound


Tuna+avocado+cheese=greatest taste on earth


I love to listen to him. @realjohngreen


I’m so happy I’m 16 because the 6teen theme song is ma true jam. #gottamakethegoodtimeslast


It’s a three-braids kind of day


When you see bae


Who’s down for a party where we just play BOP IT


I just want to be homeeee. Not stuck in some creepy town in the states.


Commercials just keep getting worse and worse ughh


I find it so funny that gymnasts can just hang out in ponché pose.


I need to play Cards Against Humanity ASAP


If I die young, bury me in yogurt covered pretzels.


Finished my summer with 4 bowls of cereal. Yepppppp


“Never ever EVER leave home without your periodic table. It’s your toolbox. Without it you’re useless.” -mr Ruddy


@jumpdance day 1 is complete


Everything just seems to be whizzing by. I can’t focus on one thing, in particular


This chem group chat is bae right now


Just remember, your best is ALWAYS sticker-worthy. #chemcuties


@miikaelapereira we’ll see. The past is long gone. #RudD must decide.


@JordynSH7 the Chem life didn’t choose you, you chose the chem life


Taught ruddy what third-wheeling was in chem class


Get your G2 license and suddenly your message app isn’t so empty.


You can hate on my running shoes. Go ahead. But my arches feel like beasts.


My bed seems to be the best place now but I’m still a little turnt…


I will always love and respect @ladygaga


musicals musicals musicals broadway broadway broadway I WANT TO BE IN A SHOW ONE DAY


I just want to dance I just want to dance I just want to dance I just want to dance I just want to dance I just want to dance. PLEASE


Dear @OfficialAdele , I’ve overplayed your old albums WAY too much recently. I need your new album in my life soon. Sincerely, every dancer.


I will never comprehend the power of dance. But I will always ALWAYS be fulfilled by it. #DGB #DIFD Thank u to all the dancers & teachers.


So this week was definitely one to remember. DGB, fun rehearsals, shaping sound, improv tonight & my birthday tomorrow. Cant ask for better.


You go Beck. Good fo you.


“Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.” -My icon for today


Late night thoughts: I kinda like it when people start a conversation with me with “Clarke.”

11:41 PM – 20 Feb 2015

Listening to the anthem and missing our lip-sync sessions in Bartlett’s…. #RIPSem1 @_Adrianna_1221


Still can’t get over the smile he gave me this morning. Chills…

6:57 AM – 2 Mar 2015

I am not lying to you when I say that I will NOT GET THROUGH THIS WEEK UNLESS THERE IS A SNOW DAY OR MY SCHOOL BURNS DOWN. #stressedbrianna



So much post-comp depression. So much.


First summer with my license and I’m stoked to have the open road, Windows down and the sun shining


watching ballet videos is my favourite pass time


I apologize for the mess I am about to appear as today. #themorningaftercomp


Will never forget these people


Highlight of my weekend: Salsa duet with the Shimmy King (aka: @mattdippolito )


No but seriously, how are Broadway musicals so incredible??!?


Perfect afternoon with trin: tea party and backyard gymnastics


I would be lying if I said I didn’t notice the changes in our lives day by day. I’m constantly aware of the shifts.


When I dream of my future, I see me dancing in a show 8 times a week. That’s where I want to be, that’s where I’ll get.


When ever @SaraBareilles comes on during shuffle, I get some kind of surreal emotion. She just gets music.


And now @ingridmusic ‘s Turn to Stone just decided to come up right after Sara and my life has just been explained to me. Gahhhhhhhhhh


The lyrics “Four cities, two planes, the same day” actually relate to me today. EWR->OKC


me: hi did a group of girls come by here? man at desk: i wish. This happened to me twice in 2 mins. #LA


Sometimes the world throws imbalances everywhere. And you have a small aneurism.


“There’s politics everywhere.” -my Uber driver tonight.


July brought me glorious treasures. And August will be the cherry on top


You can really find out a lot about a person by the style and colour of their dance journal.


Ryan Foley told me today to just go for my dance dream. Well alright. I guess I will.


If something is funny, laugh. Laugh so hard that your muscles get stronger. LAUGH. LAUGH. HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHH


“Life is good. Life is hard.” -Sean Howe


“This song doesn’t make sense!” -Trinity about Milkshake by Kelis


I love @stephrutherford . That is what I feel.


I wish people didn’t have opinions on each other because we are constantly transforming into better versions of ourselves.


Arabesque en plié is the stuff I live for


Sometimes you’re up. Sometimes you’re flat on the floor trying to get your middle splits better.

I’m making decisions that will affect my entire life. That’s not scary at all. No. I’m fine. Totally fine.


I’m surprised I haven’t cried at school yet this year. #stressedbriannaequalscryingbrianna


When you theatre jazz all day and you realize this is the life you want to live 24/7.        Ya.


Me: “Are we doing Stoich this year?” Ruddy: “a very limited amount…” Me: “Limited… Not excess?”


“Make it matter.” –@MMRAW today in class. She is truly one of my inspirations for breaking past standards & being you. Thank you!!!!


I desire a life that is a constant pas de deux, with lullabies of the piano on repeat.


Death by chemistry


Be there or be cyclobutane #chemislife


@miikaelapereira hahaha it’s only in due time that Chem jokes will slowly become all you think about. #ruddyneverstops


The Broadway snapchat feed is giving me EXTREME feels of missing NYC. When will I live there??!!!


It’s a beautiful day to wake up because it’s MOLE DAY! #chemislife #6.02×10^23


Bread is a gift. To all that require a little pick me up. Or in my case, to ACTUALLY GET ME OFF THE FLOOR.


If you don’t know @troyesivan yet, you need to


Thought it was: “And if you broke an owl ninja, and I keep you sheltered from the storm that’s raging on.” for the longest time @edsheeran


you, you, you.


“What about love? Have I ever mentioned love?”


“I don’t know ether.” –@ericaantonitti #chemislife

2:01 PM – 10 Nov 2015

THANK THE LORD for YouTube. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to watch Gene Kelly’s old dance videos so easily. He was and is legendary.


“You’ll always be ready but you can never be ruddy.” –@FameronCox #chemislife


Dance always takes priority. I guess you could say it’s a carboxylic acid. #chemislife (@seanmillr thought of this)


If there’s one thing @justinbieber has shown me, it’s that he understands the power of dance.


Well I did it. I applied to Juilliard.


I haven’t slept in 3 months, my mind is nonstop future planning, my room is a mess. So my health isn’t a #1 priority anymore? Great, thanks.


I actually corrected Mr. Ruddy today. Put it on my resume. #chemislife


the first thing I will do on Xmas break is read a book. that is not for an essay. not for a project. but for me. for my health & well-being.


Feeling very grateful for my guy friends recently


Essays on essays on essays on applications on applications on stress on stress on stress.


Watch me strike a pose on my wasted time


I just lip-chapped my lips for 5 mins straight. Good night Twitter.


I am going to the 1975 in Toronto in May and I am so excited I could cry.


If i wear a scarf, it is only appropriate that I run through my house and let it blow in the wind


Kanyé: “Yo Newton, ima let you finish but Huygen had the best theory of light of all time.” @ann_presley thought of this. #physicsislife


People don’t kill sig figs. Sig figs kill people. #chemislife


A no-name apple juicebox from Ruddy saved my life today.


Rip Sem 1 2015-2016 SCH4U. I’ll never forget the shins, timbits, “the Élaine” dancing, bumsies, grinds, and laughs.


“You die when you stop learning.” -Miss Folkes #calcislife


let’s have soft served ice cream, put on my indie/alternative playlist and remember the good times


Dear me: Disrupting your growth, demolishing your ambition, wrecking your curiosity, interrupting your self-love. Stop doing this. Love Bri.


The most embarrassing thing is getting called out by RYAN FREAKING FOLEY for not having a toe tap on your tap shoe during tap line.


I’m not emotional. I just think sometimes about how he doesn’t love me and how I feel empty without him. And I get sad. No big deal.


Still laughing about the fact that I had a dance off with miss folkes on friday. and she almost beat me.


In need of a really deep hug. Like the one where you can feel the sadness oozing out of you while someone who cares about you holds you. Ya.


Shoutout to @McC_Liam for being a real MVP today


Tonight I figured out something v crucial in my life: ……………………………………I love to be in the middle of dance circles.


Thought: open up the new day like your fav restaurant just got a whole new menu. Yes, it’s complicated and problematic. But you still go.


It’s saddening to look back on the last two years and realize that you would have been much happier if you hadn’t met a certain person.


“All in moderation, my dear, all in moderation. Too much [insert anything] can be a dangerous thing for a pure, young girl.”


“We all deserve love, even on the days when we aren’t our best. Cause we all suck, but love can make us suck less.” -bo yo


Do you ever wish someone walked around with you and observed your life? They could reveal to you all the mistakes you make?


4:26 am: I should get a tattoo on my inner thighs of circular arrows to direct my turnout muscles outwards


These are my sons and the last one is my dad


Would never wish upon my greatest enemy for them to wake up crying. It is a miserable way to start ur day & should never happen to anyone.


My dad just won best dance dad. He texted me this: “enjoy a week of musicality.” Eat your heart out Prop Dads !!


Even though T-Swift’s Red album may basically be one big cliché, I find myself going back to it in times of need.


I’m just really in love with Miley Cyrus.


My current state of sickness: I sneeze too hard and my shoulder starts to spasms and doesn’t stop until the short second of unconsciousness when I sneeze again.


Guilty pleasures: Other people have the Kardashians, shopping sprees, etc… I have youtubers and ex-viners.


Trying to remind myself that not EVERY year has to be a good year. It’s about the journey and the amount of love that is shared. This year coming up could be the worst one yet… but if I’m going into it with love, I’m doing okay. Happy New Year!!


“I had all and then most of you, some, and now none of you.” GORGEOUS LYRIC @LordHuron


Hi! Yes, my name is Brianna Clarke and I would like to audition. No… I didn’t have time to recover from my last audition or put on proper clothing but I’d still like to be seen for the part. My demi-pointe currently looks like this: is that suitable for your company?


Also in honour of @joshgroban and @SaraBareilles hosting the tonys remember when the uncharted music video was the biggest musical collaboration of our generation?! STILL SO GOOD


Contemplating if watching @TheTonyAwards by myself is a good idea but then again, I will be having multiple panic attacks every time I see Andrew Rannells on screen

Reading… but not for homework

Before writing this, I watched a video by John Fish in which he explains the horrific truth about our educational system. I instantly felt inspired to write about my experience with reading. I highly recommend watching it here. He’s a Canadian too!

Remember those dreadful days of high school when your English teacher presented the class books for the semester and no one was allowed to complain? No one could suggest a different book, because it had to be a part of the curriculum list that hasn’t been updated since Shakespeare was alive. The teacher would sometimes even hate the book she/he had to discuss with us. What’s wrong with this picture?

When I was a young child, reading was my escape. Morgan le Fay would wisk Annie, Jack and I away on an adventure in the Magic Tree House series. I still recall how excited I was when my mom bought me a new Geronimo Stilton book for Christmas. Authors like Beverley Cleary, Laura Dower, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen, Cornelia Funke, Jeff Kinney, I could go on…. So many books were dog-eared and bent out of form because of my obsession with reading. It was like words could transfer me to a new environment even though it was just black and white on the page. So then, how come when I got to high school and suddenly my favourite thing to do was being graded, I fell out of love?

My bookshelves got dustier, my brain got cloudier, and I felt forced into reading classic novels. As well, my classmates and I had to agree on specific opinions about a book or else we would get a bad grade. I probably would have eaten up these literary gems if it had not been required by my school board to like them. Due to the fact that we knew our book studies ended with us writing an essay, I started to develop demonic strategies when I read. I became less interested in absorbing the lessons in a certain book, and more worried about making sure I could find sources for my argument. Suddenly, I had to read on a deadline, and my comprehension suffered in some ways. I read faster, but more messy. Constantly having to memorize page numbers so that the teacher knew I had actually read the book. What’s silly now is that I can’t let go of these habits when I try and read for fun. I shudder to think of how messed up my brain is from the intensities of my high school learning. I am not even going to talk about the redundancies of MLA citing.

Without getting too dramatic, there were benefits to reading in the way my high school asked us to. I am able to back up an argument by laying out clear examples from primary sources. I am confident in reading out loud with added character traits if needed. I am capable of reading multiple books at one time. Finally, I know the context of the famous Hamlet quote “To be or not to be”. So, not everything about high school English was bad. My Gr. 12 English teacher was one of my favourite educators ever. She taught me to be creative in my writing and take chances outside of the typical essay format. I could even tell that she, herself, didn’t agree with some of the curriculum standards.

If I am going to reflect on the impact of reading, I need to look at a timeline of my obsession with books, starting with the younger part of my childhood. My mom says I started reading chapter books at age 4. That means that before I was instructed to read, I loved books. This is of course due to the fact that my parents scheduled reading time before every goodnight. It is embedded in my brain as a positive and relaxing activity for my mind.

As I mentioned above, the Magic Tree House books were so special to me, and they probably were the first series I ever grew a crush on. I think I must have read at least 25 of the books in a line-up of 58. They were like medicine to me. Mary Pope Osbourne, I owe it to you to begin a reading addiction that would last my whole lifetime. Then, I believe I moved onto wittier books like Elisabetta’s Geronimo Stilton, Dav Pikey’s Captain Underpants, and Megan McDonald’s Judy Moody. Unlike anything I had ever seen, these three series gave me more colour and imagination. The words could suddenly be painted onto the page rather than typed. My expansive mind was taken to new worlds and I got to laugh more along the way. This period of ages 4-6 is what I like to call “The Simpler Years”.

When I turned 7, I knew that I wasn’t just a child anymore. I was a REAL person. So naturally, my interests shifted to books about history, philosophy, and boys. I remember taking trips to Chapters and leaving the children’s section behind. I wanted to read what my mom was reading, but she guided me to fiction novels that would suit my maturity more sufficiently. Dear Canada is a series of very educational books that showed me the saddest historical events through the eyes of a child. It was written by use of fictionalized diary entries from children who lived during times of war and poverty. Although the topics were deeply profound, I was able to learn about Canada’s history in an honest way. As well, I found solace in a book called Chicken Soup for the Pre-Teen Soul. Written by real-life pre-teens, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen compile an master list of anecdotes that prepared me for growing up. I read this book from a pre-mature philosophical standpoint and the whole series was my first self-help books. Then, my friends, came a HUGE obsession with a series titled From the Files of Madison Finn. These books held me captive while I learned about Madison stumbling through middle school. Funny enough, she has a sort of “blog” where she uses her laptop as a diary. I started my own diary on my sister’s old laptop, and I had to make it a private folder (to which I lost the password for). I wonder what sort of crazy stuff is lost in cyber-space now! Laura Dower’s series also gave me a chance to read about the confusing stages of having a crush. Madison’s crush is on her classmate Hart Jones. He is a mystical creature that still gives me butterflies. I mean his name is HART! Let’s call this period of ages 7-9 “The Mature for My Age Years”.

Grades 5, 6 and 7 were a different story, pun intended, because the thickness of the books got WAY bigger. Now, I was double digits and ready to tackle the big guns. I want to call this period “The Twilight Years” for the obvious reasons… Stephanie Meyer had my full attention. Suddenly, I was reading about sexual vampires with lust and confusing emotions. I read all four books, plus the novella The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, and saw all the movies at least twice. Team Edward all the way!!….. yeah, it’s so stupid when I think about it now…. But, I cannot lie when I say I don’t remember reading much else when I was ages 10-13, except for maybe The Hunger Games or The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. These years set me up for hardships of relationships.

Here is where it gets depressing. During the years of 2011-2016, I barely read for fun. Generally, if you saw me reading, it was because I had to read it for school assignments. Shakespeare, Harper Lee, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Agatha Christie, Arthur Miller and others became the only authors on my radar for a long time. Additionally, I had less time to sit down and read because my schedule with competitive dance heated up and the internet grew as a cultural phenomenon. During the summer, I focused on dance training more, but I would never take that back. I just feel so sad that most of my teenage years did not involve leisure reading. To be truly honest, I am wondering if maybe my mental state of mind collapsed because I let go of meditative reading sessions that clear my thoughts and sooth my psyche. This period is unfortunately called “The Lost Years”.

In conclusion, I want to renew myself. I can see that reading has been a positive part of my well-being and I am hoping that the school boards across the globe will take a different approach to literature so that more young adults will be inclined to read instead of reluctant to read. If I take the time to close my laptop and phone, I believe it will send me towards a genuine path to happiness.

For some fun, please enjoy Carrie Hope Fletcher’s song that I love. Click here.

Be good at everything.

Wrote this while applying for post-secondary scholarships and I actually think it is some of the best writing I’ve done so far. Who knew?

July 15, 2016:

A very multi-dimensional person once told me that to be named a great thinker, you must dive into various strands of human intelligence. It is boring for humans to be great at one thing. Moreover, it is ignorant and narrow-minded. Using the shoes on my feet and the curiosity in my soul, I remember that when you learn with an optimistic view, your experience will result in more discoveries, and more opportunities for success. I pack my schedule with classes in mathematics and science for concrete ideas to store in my brain. I regularly attend classes in the arts to find my voice in my community. Not only that, I know that learning never stops, and so I look towards my future years as a student to take on new journeys of revelation.

Piano Man (Last time dancing it version)

I wrote this parody song for my dance partner, Chris, when we competed with a duet back in high school. It was our first year as a duo and every time I think back to it, I smile with delight. We got to dance to “Piano Man” by Billy Joel and it was some of my most enjoyable moments onstage. Video link here.

May 30, 2015:

(to the tune of Piano Man)
It’s (around) 9 pm on a Sunday,
The younger tappers shuffle in,
There’s a special boy sitting next to me,
Making love to his rum and gin.
Now Lisa is hard core teacher,
Who never has time for fun,
And she’s talking with Ginette,
Who’s new to the scenète,
But knows that it’s not for life.
Now Ashley is practicing fouettés,
As her mom calls her on the phone.
Yes, she left at the studio with loneliness,
But it’s better than being at school.
(Instrumental music)
Now the bow ties look like a carnival,
And the lifts look like we’ve had some beers,
But we move to the song, and laugh the whole time, and I say “Man, I love dancing here.”

🙂

S

I’m sitting on a stone ledge that saves me from falling into the rocky sea. I have never felt more lost. S just left. He feels lost too. He was asked to come out and dance with everyone but his life is so messed up right now, he really didn’t want to go anywhere. I feel for him like he was the personification of my own soul. Walking with him was all I needed for tonight. I didn’t need sex, I didn’t need to dance, I just wanted real genuine connection with someone who understands how hard life is. I feel so happy with S. I want to know his troubles and learn how to take care of him. I really wish I had more time with him. I leave the island tomorrow and all I can think about is how timing is such a beach.

I want to spend days and nights with S talking about divorce, suicide, purpose, work ethic and other deep topics that can only be discussed with the right people.

Although, I can’t expect him to fix all my problems. He is still figuring out his own. I want to be involved in his thought process and know him through the pain.

I met you at a time when I was certain a genuine connection meant sexual interaction. I thought that having a one night stand would help me plough through my problems better than a conversation about mental illness. As if a penetration of body parts could solve a calculus equation so complicated in my heart. As if the way you moan had anything to do with my happiness.

I should have remembered that you were sad and fragile like a wonderful teenager. You couldn’t have had enough energy for both of us. Life takes so much from us. How would I feel if someone older than me tried to depend on me at that age? But regardless, when I sat next to you on the boat ride into town and my head nudged into your shoulder blade as you watched the lights fade on the sea, I had hope. Your back was a million miles long. I saw definition in your spine that caused me to define myself differently. Better. A better me with you there.

You let me hold your hand in mine. You never said no, you never pushed away. Did you want to or was it weird? Was my energy helpful to you? I have hope that I helped in some way.

And you asked to walk the rest of the way home by yourself. But I knew that something was changed in you when we sat in silence. I knew that my life was changed for the better when you let my neck seep into your collar bone. I have hope.

Bring the light that you felt next time you have someone in your arms. Bring hope. I know I will.

WW1: A War that was Out to Get Women

A woman of today’s time could easily be labelled as an independent force, due to the advancing freedom of expression and changing workplace conditions. However, a century ago, this was definitely not the case. In the early 20th century, a woman was not yet able to vote and had only just begun working alongside her male companions (Dodd 330). These modifications created a complicated divide between the sexes and put women at risk for being viewed as second place to the men fighting on the front line. As well, it is worth mentioning the extreme pressure women faced to withhold the demands of their respective countries while armies marched elsewhere. The major inequalities women faced while the First World War was in bloom caused historians to reflect differently on the development of feminism. In comparison to the modern day woman, the governments’ regulations around the world manipulated how women were to feel and be treated as to cater to the intensities of the First World War. Women felt helpless in secret services, felt lonely due to the diminishing population of men, and were likely unaware that the government was using them as puppets for war propaganda.

When looking at the historiography of how women are portrayed during the First World War, there is a distinct contrast when the 1970 revolution became a place for American and British women to speak out about the issues surrounding sexual harassment and the objectification of women. Writings published from then until now, have brought about critical discussions on the subject of women being mistreated in the First World War, helping to initiate feminism as a significant social movement (Metinsoy 19). For example, an article written in 1975 by Oxford University openly argues that although women were finally allowed to work in occupations other than a mother, their positions as munition workers, typists, janitors, or railway employees were simple, low-level jobs at the bottom of the economic hierarchy (Greenwald 156). As stated in a more recent publication by Canadian author Diane Dodd, wartime meant that men would be away from these duties and thus, women had to step up, although paid less than what men would have earned (Dodd 328). Therefore, it was only until the last quarter of the 20th century that sexist workplace conditions were brought into the light of the public eye. Before then, as the Second World War and Vietnam War finished, women were still depicted, by the United States and United Kingdom governments’ standards, as less than men (Redmond and Farrell 331). The portrayal of women has transformed over the past century in historians’ eyes, helping more women to speak out about the inequalities between men and women.

In Britain, espionage was a useful tactic so that secrecy could remain a part of their offensive strategy. Considering this, it is vital to delve into the remarkable imbalances between male and female spies. In Tammy M. Proctor’s book, she examines the way British women in espionage were seen as too emotional to be taken seriously for the job, adding in that the government thought women would fall in love with the enemy due to their “romantic natures” (Proctor 43). Indeed, this speculation that women are more emotional than men has been floating around society for many years, and continues to be an issue in current political situations (Ladkin 402). On the other hand, it is unintelligent to diagnose all women with this problem. This stereotype classified women as unfit for the secretive role and caused women to face disadvantages against the idolism of men in espionage (Proctor 50). When a woman missioned to double-cross an enemy line, she could use her sexuality to pre-maturely gather information for the government, but was then pushed aside (Proctor 149). It seems, that men were actually the more emotionally-driven workers due to the fact that they could be persuaded by a woman merely based on her sex appeal. Thus, women were wrongfully judged as too sentimental for an occupation as perilous as espionage because they were the most successful at the tasks they were given. Emotion should not be historicized as a weakness that kept women from performing their duties as intelligence workers. As mentioned above, female sexuality was used in British spying as a tool for targeting a man’s pleasure for having sex. Not only is this an extreme case of the objectification of women, but female spies agreed to pose as prostitutes because it was the only way women could exercise their patriotism. According to Proctor, the British media’s portrayal of women caused their secret service work to be demoralized and ineffective to their constant battle for equality: “Media portraits of women as virtuous, martyred heroines or avaricious spy-prostitutes made it difficult for real women to assert patriotism… without suspicion. Official secret service work for allied governments was one route to validation as “true” patriots, but even then, women’s work was suspect and their loyalty to their nations questioned” (Proctor 125-126). Further, these women who worked so desperately to be treated in a serious manner wanted their government to succeed in the war, and that meant accepting the profound sexism in this domain of military forces. British women everywhere, but particularly in espionage, were deemed similar to prostitutes with diseased reproductive organs leading to a strong regulation of women as a marginalized group (Kiere 250). This included curfews, and police officers were given the freedom to conduct strip-searches whenever they pleased (Proctor 31). All in all, female spies were unfairly treated as over-emotional prostitutes, causing their accomplishments as secret service workers to be viewed as invaluable.

Another example of how the First World War made the government act differently towards women stems from the population on the home front. Moreover, the women in the United States of America had to make do with the diminishing population of men who left for the battlefield. This is clearly stated in a book titled Singled Out, written by Virginia Nicholson: “The anguish of the surplus two million was exacerbated by the sense that they were unwanted by men not only as wives, but also as competitors in the workplace and social stakeholders” (Nicholson 24). It was standard, at this time in society, that the woman performed house work and motherly tasks, so that the man could provide for the family and greet his wife when he arrived home (Dodd 331). As men started to leave their families to fight for their respective countries, women began to feel a sad solitude because the normal household needed a mother and a father. American women became the majority in their communities, and that meant single women were not as likely to find a husband who could raise a family with them (Nicholson 83). Due to an extensive divide of the sexes, women were solely educated in areas such as needlework and languages rather than trades or economics (Nicholson 28). So it was not the woman’s fault that she could not handle a family by herself, but the control that the government had over their female civilians. This societal belief is to blame for why women on the home front had such a difficult experience living without a partner (Kiere 248). Equally, marriage as a whole became an implausible choice for women because they would just be left alone anyways. Nicholson exclaims that the mental health of women, as a whole, started to decline because they were stuck between choosing a life of poverty or a miserable marriage (Nicholson 147). The thought of marrying out of a loving relationship disappeared during the war, and depression arose throughout the minds of the surplus woman. Some women tried to use their allurement skills as a way to make money, leading to men in local nightclubs to treat them like prostitutes (Kiere 260). Consequently, this led to more oppression of women wanting to be open about their sexuality. In sum, there was not enough men to go around for the amount of women that stayed home to take care of the family, making the home front a very depressing place for American women.

On the other hand, maybe it was the case that, at the time, women were unaware of the lack of fairness. The legacy of British women, as well as Ottoman and American, has been studied and analyzed by historians in a variety of ways (Jensen 198; Metinsoy 20). Many believe that propaganda was a defining feature in the empowerment of women, in lieu of it being shameful for women (White 52). If it is true that women could not imagine their lives being any better, then it is possible that the government was brain-washing them. For instance, the White Feather Campaign, explored by Susan Grayzel, had an oxymoron kind of effect for women who participated in it because, in actuality, they were not given any real power at all (Grayzel 20). When a British woman gave a white feather to a man who had not enlisted in the army, she was just aiding the government in their twisted way of recruiting more soldiers. Rather than exercising her power as an influential woman, she was being innocently abused by the government by means of propaganda. Likewise, if a woman gave a feather to a military man who happened to be out of uniform on a particular night, she was ridiculed for her mistake (Gullace 202). In addition, the British government meticulously planned that women would never achieve the same status as men, no matter what field of work they pursued. In her book Women and the First World War, Grayzel writes that “women could join the military’s auxiliary corps [to construct ammunitions] and be ‘the woman behind the man behind the gun’” (Grayzel 13). In regards to this, women were never the intended superheroines at all. Instead, they were tricked into being the government’s toys and were perpetually treated as second priority to men. If the White Feather Campaign intended to make women feel less included in the war, it succeeded in more ways than one. This is also exhibited when enlistment posters were filled with women as an excuse for a man to sign up (Gullace 184). Similar to the ways modern advertisers use the sexuality of women to sell their products, the government thought they could market from displaying women in the media so that men would feel more personally connected to the war (Grayzel 10). As a final point, there are many oxymora to be found in the governmental structure of the war, including the fake power that was given to British women in the form of a white feather or a recruitment advertisement.

In conclusion, the First World War took a lot out of the wishes and aspirations of women because the governments of many countries required women to live in a regulated way. Whether it was because of female espionage workers being treated like overly sensitive prostitutes, because of a wife feeling incapable without a husband, or because of the government providing inauthentic ways for women to succeed in social status, the years of 1914-1918 mainly pandered to the needs of the war and the men fighting in it. The historiography of how women were portrayed during this time has evolved over the last century, resulting in authors writing from a modern day perspective. When comparing the treatment of women during the time of the Great War to the progressive movement of the “Me Too” campaign, there has been an extreme shift. It would be foolish to look at the accomplishments of women in 1914 as a victorious milestone for feminism because there were still many issues surrounding sexism. This is similar to the way Christians sacredly follow a book that was written ages ago. More important milestones have come along and shaped how society treats women today. As history constantly evolves, it is imperative to evolve one’s judgment of the progression of society. The years of 1914-1918 are not on par with the forward thinking of today. Simply put, World War One was out to get women.


Works Cited

Dodd, Diane. “Canadian Military Nurse Deaths in the First World War.” Canadian Bulletin of Medical History, vol. 34, no. 2, 2017, pp. 329-363. https://muse-jhu-edu.ezproxy.lib.ryerson.ca/article/671547.

Grayzel, Susan R. Women and the First World War. Pearson Education Limited, 2002.

Greenwald, Maurine Weiner. “Women Workers and World War I: The American Railroad Industry, a Case Study.” Journal of Social History, vol. 9, no. 2, 1975, pp. 154–177.          JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/3786250.

Gullace, Nicoletta F. “White Feathers and Wounded Men: Female Patriotism and the Memory of the Great War.” Journal of British Studies, vol. 36, no. 2, 1997, pp. 178-206. JSTOR, https://www-jstor-org.ezproxy.lib.ryerson.ca/stable/176011?pqorigsite=summon&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents.

Jensen, Kimberly. “Women’s ‘Positive Patriotic Duty’ to Participate: The Practice of Female Citizenship in Oregon and the Expanding Surveillance State during the First World War and Its Aftermath.” Oregon Historical Quarterly, vol. 118, no. 2, Summer2017, pp. 198-EBSCOhost, http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ahl&AN=124209916&site=ehost-live.

Keire, Mara L. “Swearing Allegiance: Street Language, US War Propaganda, and the Declining Status of Women in Northeastern Nightlife, 1900-1920.” Journal of the History of Sexuality, vol. 25, no. 2, May 2016, pp. 246-266. EBSCOhost, doi:10.7560/JHS25202.

Ladkin, Donna. “How Did That Happen? Making Sense of the 2016 US Presidential Election Result through the Lens of the ‘Leadership Moment’.” Leadership, vol. 13, no. 4, 12 July 2017, pp. 393-412. http://journals.sagepub.com.ezproxy.lib.ryerson.ca/doi/pdf/10.1177/1742715017714841.

Metinsoy, Elif Mahir. “Writing the history of ordinary Ottoman Women During World War 1”. Apasia, vol. 10, 2016, pp. 18–39. doi:10.3167/asp.2016.100103.

Nicholson, Virginia. Singled Out: How Two Million Women Survived Without Men after the First World War. Penguin Books Limited, 2007.

Proctor, Tammy M. Female Intelligence: Women and Espionage in the First World War. New York University Press, 2003.

Redmond, Jennifer and Elaine Farrell. “War within and Without: Irish Women in the First World War Era.” Women’s History Review, vol. 27, no. 3, May 2018, pp. 329-342. EBSCOhost,doi:10.1080/09612025.2016.1223311.

White, Bonnie. The Women’s Land Army in First World War Britain. Palgrave Macmillan, 2014.

You will bring me home.

My favourite animal is a giraffe. They are so tall. Not only that but they are so lanky. Objects that stand higher than my head have an inevitable power over me. I used to think that was a scary thought, especially while I was a kid. Everyone seemed to cover my entire existence with their shadows and I was frightened by that for so long. Now, I find tall bodies to be the perfect challenger. I can access their instincts better.

Giraffes don’t march through villages like Godzilla on a rampage. They eat grass. Sometimes even reaching all the way down to the ground to eat it. Giraffes have so much power over humanity and yet they choose not to abuse it.

You are my favourite giraffe. Your skyscraper-like stance puts me at ease. I want to dive into your embrace and feel the complete warmth of your arm span. It is special in so many ways. A gentle giant. A sweet creature.