Hydra, Week 3

Who do you need to forgive and why?

Last summer, I was run over on my foot by a car that happened to not see me when I was walking across a driveway. I was on my way to work as a dance teacher and had to stop working for 3+ weeks because of the damage. Although it was an accident and I’m lucky to be alive and healthy, I still feel hatred toward the driver. He didn’t speak English and tried to rub my foot immediately after the accident. So, he probably caused more swelling and stress to my ankle. I need to find a way to forgive him and not hold a grudge. I just think it was something that took away my ability to move for at least a month and it made me so unhappy during that time.

What is calling you?

In my life, I think there are many things calling me. I feel an urge or a burst of inspiration from somewhere and I have to follow it. I can’t let it dissolve or else my frustration starts to build. I start to lose my sense of self if I don’t follow my intuition.

In my career, I think I listen to instincts that gear towards many projects at once. I don’t want to do only one thing and I hate being bored. I think I am called by opportunities that come my way and I don’t want to pass them up. Even if it means that my schedule is jam-packed with meetings, rehearsals, appointments, etc, I like to stay occupied. My dad always said that every opportunity has the potential to be an important one. He is wise in knowing that I should always keep doors open. Never limit myself.

In my daily life, I am called by the energy of other people. I love to sit and “people-watch” so I can silently learn from the body language and interactions that I observe. I hope no one thinks I’m stalking them… haha. I find I can always feed off of what is going on around me and I find new changes in myself once I’ve experienced a new person/circumstance. I love to be alone, don’t get me wrong, but as my depression started to grow, I didn’t like being by myself anymore. It scared me. I want to feel comfortable to balance time as an introvert as well as an extrovert.

Greece has helped me call other things into my life. I look for nature as a guide more frequently, and I make sure to keep a healthy mind-set whenever I can.

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

If I could not fail in any way, I think I would steal the spot of a concert pianist and play for a crowd of thousands at Radio City Music Gall. My fingers would hit every key perfectly as the petal bounced under my foot. My trolls would sound effortless and my body would sway with ease as I become one with the sounds. Piano was most of my life as a child and I finished some exams by just barely passing. I wasn’t amazing but I learned a lot from the discipline it takes. It has so much to do with perfection and it can only be done well with practice. But I usually got lazy with it, and would refuse to practice. I never liked the polishing, only the performing. That’s why, if I had the most magical fingers for one night, would serenade a NY audience with a Chopin or a Brahms piece and everything would be PERFECT! Sigh… if only. My grandpa would be so proud.

If there was a natural disaster and you had to evacuate your city, what three things would you bring with you?

Without a doubt, my first precious object would be my stuffed bear. His name is Beary and he has been with me through it ALL. He is the only boyfriend I’ll need when I’m gone from my city.

Secondly, I think I would grab my computer. Now, I know that seems materialistic and pathetic. However, I use my computer mostly to download music, organize it, and edit it. All the songs and playlists I’ve built up over the 5 years I’ve had my computer mean so much to me and it would be a shame to see them go. I’ve worked hard to develop a library that I know will only keep growing and I cannot say goodbye yet.

For my last prize possession, I would bring my favourite book, My Most Excellent Year. I’ve read this novel maybe six times and it is so fun and cute that I can’t stop reading it. The characters go through a coming-of-age story and at the end there is a musical being put on! My kind of book! It helps me to relax and enjoy the wonders of making mistakes. I think it would be useful to have on hand if a sad natural disaster strikes.

Also, if we are getting technical, I would bring my anti-depressant pills… but I’d like to think I could function without them at that point…

What is your wildest dream?

My wildest dream is to be a bird. I wish so much to feel the wind as I fly through the sky. I really wish I was a bird so I could see things differently. Literally, and figuratively. I want to laugh at puny humans as I soar above the clouds without any interruption. This dream comes to me when I feel trapped by the limitations of being a human. My need for airtime stems from the idea that maybe in a past life, I was a bird. I like to imagine myself knowing the best lookout trees, and the best worms and seeds to slobber down. I imagine myself communicating with my bird friends as we take off towards the sun. The concept of reincarnation has a huge effect on me as I try to understand death. I want to believe there is more life after I die and I think it would be wild and amazing to return to my animal spirit for another go.

If I were a bird, I would be a swallow.

If you could become an expert in any subject or activity, what would it be?

I would choose figure skating with Scott Moir. He is an amazing partner and I would love to take Tessa Virtue’s talent for myself so I could glide in his arms. I watch them both with such awe because they are the perfect pair with so much trust in each other. To have the skill and training that they have would be incredible, and it is my most precious fantasy to be lifted into the air by Scott. If only I could get on the ice without falling…

What would you do if you could live a day without consequences?

A day without consequences… what a thought. We are encouraged so strictly to always think of the pros and cons of our choices as it will help us make moral decisions. Therefore, I feel as though I have to abandon everything I know. But I’ll try.

I would immediately take off my clothes and go about my day, naked. I feel so free without the weight of clothes and if I can’t get arrested, it will feel even better!

Next, I would go sky-diving because everything would go smoothly. Maybe bungee-jumping or jet-packing too. There is always a fear that there will be consequences when danger is a possible outcome, so it would be nice to feel immortal for once.

If there’s time, I would write a letter to my ultimate crush Cole Sprouse, confessing my love for him and everything creepy I’ve ever wanted to tell him. As a famous child star, he probably receives these kinds of letters a lot but mine would affect him differently. He would not send a restraining order, hehe 😉 It’s fun to think this way. We would run away together.

As a final hoorah, I think I would eat as much as I want. I would eat ice cream, pasta, cookies, pizza, cinnamon buns, burgers, french fries, cake… because the obvious reasons: I would not gain a single pound. WOO HOO!

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