The socially acceptable rule about crying is that it can happen in public if young kids are upset, or tragedy strikes a mass group of people. Besides that, it is uncommon and often taken negatively if a person were to burst into tears on the street. In my experience, people tend to give a side-eye glance at a crying loser and say nothing to them because it’s too much emotion for every day life. I am also guilty of reacting this way. We are all so busy with our stoic lives to acknowledge a person who is in need of care.
On the other hand, maybe that person doesn’t want to be bothered. Maybe they would rather be left to their tears and given the chance to let their feelings out alone. How are we to know, right? So the only explanation is that we shouldn’t help each other in this situation… huh? I’m still questioning this statement… need more time to figure it out…
I try to be aware of the last time I cry so that I can schedule sadness into my busy lifestyle. That means, once in awhile, I have to do what is known as “emotional hygiene”. This article talks a bit about it. I think it means we must take care of the sad feelings just as much as the happy feelings. As we go through the ups and downs, the benefit of being emotionally open will help us purge. If we hold things in, we are adding unneeded pressure to our capacity to be patient. Making things harder for ourselves. Thus, the ability to let out our emotions is one that is intellectual. At least that’s what I tell myself when I want to scream at the tops of my lungs because of Donald f**king Trump.
I love to cry because I find peace in complete despair. In some weird way, I am willing to cry loudly and proudly if it means I will feel better afterwards. I like the deepest downs because it means the highest ups are next. The comedian Louis C.K., who definitely hasn’t been behaving properly since he started his career, explained my thoughts so well in this video on Conan. I don’t want to promote him anymore but no one else has been able to put this in words. We all want to feel high as the sky but I think we should also feel grateful for when we are down like the ocean floor. It’s scary and vulnerable but doesn’t that make us more susceptible to controlling ourselves? If there is a moment where we need to stretch our emotional boundaries, the next time will be better because we learn how far we can go and we learn about our natural instincts. If no tears leave our eyes, it means that we are (literally) closing up the ducts and causing our minds to work harder to be less genuine. I think that’s why I love crying. It’s authentic. And full of reality.
Through the journeys of happy and sad and everywhere in between, I need to remember to take the time to acknowledge my feelings, the feelings of others, and why we need to have feelings.
“When there’s nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.” – from the song Your Ex-Lover is Dead by Stars.