I slept on your side today

First draft.

Apr 15, 2015

I SLEPT ON YOUR SIDE TODAY

I slept on the emptiness that replaces you. You are invisible but awake in my bed. I wanted to feel even a small crease in the sheets that you are assigned to sleep on. I wanted to know that your inexistent presence could be touched by my desperate body. Does the world stop when you sleep in your bed? Given that the comfort of my own side of this bed is all that I have left, I made the choice to find out what lies beside me. I made the courage happen. I made YOU happen again. Night after tearful night. The world stops when I close the lights and work my way into a calming sleep. Did you even sense me? I suppose your feeling is opposing, meaning that your side of your bed holds your infinite body. Meanwhile, the other side of your bed holds a creation that seeks love for you. I only seek your soul. Did you grab the sheets in loneliness? I did, that night, that I slept on your side.

Second draft.

Sept 12, 2017

I SLEPT ON YOUR SIDE TODAY.

I slept on the emptiness that replaces you. You are invisible, but awake in my bed. I wanted to feel even a small crease in the sheets that was assigned for you to sleep on. Only you. I wanted to know that your inexistent presence could be touched by my desperate body. Without it hurting you.

Does the world stop when you sleep in your bed? Does my smell ever seep into your sheets? Given that my own side of this bed is all I have left, I made the choice to find out what lies beside me.

I made the courage happen.

I made YOU happen again.

Night after tearful night.

The world stops when I close the lights and work my way into a calming sleep. I mean, do you even think about the way the mattress used to feel like a boat? We used to swim together. Across the sheets that felt like waves, clutching to the head board that felt like a life jacket.

I suppose I shouldn’t expect so much of you. When did it become necessary for lovers to care for each other?

Fading back to reality though, I am lying here on your side. The smell of

love and sex and no clothing and late nights and laughter and ruffled sheets and confusing motivation

weaves through the gases of this air. While my fan blows my hair out of my face, you brush into the hallowed walls of my brain. It always seems to be night time for me to be conscious of you. I can feel you more in darkness. Does that mean you are a dark and twisted soul, unfit for a romance?

Do you grab the sheets in loneliness? I did, last night, when I slept on your side.

Video and final project.

 

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