Intro for the diddy…

BC_2

Welcome to my brain, humans of the internet. Simply put, I made this blog so that my obsession with writing notes in my iPhone could be put to some use. These posts will include my random thoughts, my creative endeavours, as well as other things that I want to share with the world. Feel free to share or don’t, I won’t care either way.  Click here: the diddy . 

Photo captured by: Alvin Collantes

For Pepper, my cat.

Pepper, Pepperoni, Peps, THE FAT CAT.

We love you. Your fur was like a bionic black sheep that I could pet all day because it would never move. Yeah you were fat. But that didn’t mean that you weren’t beautiful.

I NEVER FORGAVE YOU FOR NAILING ME WITH YOUR CLAWS. And why were you so afraid all the time? Like my friends didn’t know what the hell to do with you.

But seriously, you were a staple in my life. I always knew you were there if I needed you. I’m sorry I barely did the same. I never wanted to do the dirty work with your litter box and food. It’s pathetic to me now, because if I want to handle responsibility in my life I need to be able to take hygienic and nutritional initiative. Your health could have been better if I had been more caring. I am sorry. I learned a lot from having you in my life.

Your silent presence kept our house from blowing up. I knew that when I saw you peering at us during a family argument, I should stop yelling and chill out. In some cases, you were like a therapist for me. Your eyes had millions of years deep inside them, and when we had our staring contests, you always lost because you knew you were WAY above it all. A true queen.

I remember getting you from the animal place (was it a shelter or pound or store…? Can’t quite remember) and your terrified sprints once we showed you your new home for the next 16 years. What a scary moment for you. It’s funny to think that you became royalty in our house… owning your spot above the couch in the living room, meowing even at 4am for food, scratching the couches, and hissing away trespassing cats through the patio door window… We all could sense that your spot in our house was indefinite. You needed to be there or else we were doomed.

Thank you for using your sneaky skills for good and for travelling with us. I know the cottage wasn’t your favourite place, especially once it got rebuilt, but your mouse-trapping abilities were killer. Let’s hope you can run and play in heaven just the same.

Sweet dreams my kitty cat. Your legacy lives on.

Today, he…

Today, he grabbed by hand and we ran like monkeys across downtown. His grip never faltered, and I knew I could let go of my worries. Like a rollercoaster, he brought me to the best parts of the city. We hid in between walls and alleyways, faking our excitement for the other people around us. We were only interested in each other’s happiness and how we could help each other find it. Alex held his warm energy close my heart the entire day. 

I can’t figure out why I am unable to describe his face, but I know his hair was black and swoopy. But, what good is that when I need eyes to drown in, a smile to wrap my legs around, cheeks and a jaw to brush with my fingers, and a neck to admire. 

Oh, that’s right! I’m dreaming.

My grandmother.

The influences in my life that are humans are as follows (in no particular order):

Bo Burnham, Kaelin Isserlin, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Miley Cyrus, Linda Garneau, Evan Peters, Julie Andrews, Lady GaGa, and my grandmother.

I will attempt to explain my reasons for why these people have a greater influence on me than others. Hope it functions properly.

A super-heroine butterfly who cooks like a BOSS.

My grandma has every right to brag about herself. Her culinary skills could swipe the whole competition. She has the most caring heart for everyone around her and always puts her family first. Funny thing is, she has NEVER been one to talk highly of herself. All of the goodness and love that encompasses her presence never seems to turn into greediness nor hate. I have come to be so inspired by her and I am still wondering how I got so lucky to have her as my grandmother.

I never met my Nonna—my Italian grandmother on my mother’s side—and I often imagine if she was as amazing. My dream is to live my senior years in Italy somewhere so I can be buried close to my heritage. I think it would be so ideal if the bright, white lights of heaven’s gate appeared in front of me and right there is my Nonna, making pasta. Pretty nice. While it is amusing to craft a dreamy picture of what you think your family would act like, I am humbled by the fact I can personally witness my grandmother’s life while she is alive. I feel attached to her successes and discoveries and hope that she stays on the Earth for a long time.

Her absolute selflessness reminds me that every human has so much kindness to share. We are all wrapped up in our individual lives and that can turn quickly into arrogance. My grandma remains so giving with her heart, and I know she will continue to have an unlimited amount of positive energy. Whenever she smiles, I just have to join her.

I want to give back to her all the fresh cookies, clean sheets, clever jokes and warm hugs that she has provided me with for the past 20 years. Spending time with her is one thing but it’s not enough. She deserves the world and the moon. I try to visit my grandparents once a month or so to ask them about life, the future and theatre (they brought me to my first musical). Their knowledge and overall patience with my horrible ignorance helps me to reset and ground myself. I have vivid memories of our family cottage in my childhood and both my grandmother and grandfather shaped my experience in such a profound way. I think the most memorable would be the times when my grandmother would let me set up the “cookie plate” for dessert. She knew it would be so exciting for a big-eyed girl like me to organize and display treats for my family, and I’ll never forget that.

I have to mention the fact that my grandparents have been married for over 50 years. Through thick and thin, they have stayed by each other’s sides and still, to this day, are the only representation of real love that I have seen. Since we are talking about my grandmother as an individual, her unmitigated love for my grandfather gives me hope that it is possible to unconditionally love another person. Of course, I love my grandpa too, but I think he would agree that my grandma is an angel who makes everyone a better person.

Grandma, I love you and admire you to no ends. I hope one day to be as incredibly strong as you are.

Re: The Stories We Tell by Jack Harries

I’ve been following (also in love with) Jack Harries since he started posting Youtube videos seven years ago. At first, I saw him as the ideal Brit with a fantastic accent and funny views on living. His twin brother Finn also caught my eye and from then on, these brothers were the British Zack and Cody for me. However, as I grew up, as they grew up, and as their video content started to change, I found different qualities in them that I respected. It wasn’t just that they were easy to look at, but they had real talent and intelligence about the world. I stayed close.

I’m going to only talk about Jack for right now, because he is the one who continues the channel. Finn, I see you. I see you.

When Jack posted the video I linked above that discusses the up and downs of his life, I immediately connected with his honesty. His perspective on social media and mental health inspired me to reflect on why our internet appearance can ruin our real-life experience. Key-word is “can” here, because I don’t think this happens to every person with an Instagram account; it only applies to the group of users that have trouble functioning with the on-going rise of online interactions. I think I am a part of this group.

Jack speaks in the video about how when we click that post button, we are telling a story. Not necessarily the most truthful story but a story nonetheless. He recognizes that as each of us build an online profile for the public to analyze, our perception of close friends, family members or other people we interact with changes. They are not separate worlds. Our reality in society and the reality on the internet have direct links to one another now that so many people use social media. I often feel weirdly grateful for the times that I meet someone who I haven’t yet met on Instagram. It’s almost as if that never happens anymore. If I didn’t rely on social media for research on other people’s lives, how different would my friends group be? Would I know less information about them? Shouldn’t that scare me? My brain is combining all the stories from the accounts I follow with the encounters I’ve had in real-life to construct opinions on other people. So, we’ve added a second variable to the equation of how I perceive a person. While this could potentially augment our personal relationships, I am weary of the fact that it could also destroy the potential of a strong relationship. Stories can now be told through posts and updates rather than sitting down and hearing/reading a story.

Another incredible point to Jack’s talk is that he opens up about his mental health and how working too much on our online appearance can be exhausting. He admits to needing to take time off of his YouTube channel and neighbouring film company. While this is of course very honest of him, I can’t help but wonder why something you love to do can tire you out. I can see that Jack is passionate about capturing stories and visiting places that are new to him and so, I find it so sad that he felt overwhelmed by it all. The pressure of constantly creating is terrifying. Perhaps we all need a break, even from activities we find most enjoyable. Perhaps there could be a happy medium. This is something every human has to figure out during their life.

Another thought that popped into my head after watching this video was that maybe the like button is the villain rather than social media itself. We press a button and our judgement is publicized. Anyone can see the posts you like and the ones that didn’t get your approval. And I think it’s true that when you don’t redden the heart on a post, people will think you don’t actually like the post. This small action of pushing a heart creates another story within itself. I’m curious about why there is no dislike button on Instagram but there is on YouTube, Facebook (the mad and sad emoji’s are very similar to disliking a post), and Reddit. Are we not allowed to dislike something? Does everyone need to love and be loved? Twitter has an interesting take on the dislike button by making your downvote a private matter. It won’t directly show up that you don’t like a tweet but it will cater your timeline to what it thinks you would like instead. That way, it is your business if you want to see something pop up on your timeline. I think this is very smart. You go, Twitter.

Jack’s creativity continues to inspire me and encourage me to tell stories. Whether that be through a picture of my cottage or filming myself exploring dance, my social presence will create another version of me. Let’s see in the next 10 years where it goes from there. There is so much more to discuss about social media’s influence on our everyday lives and so I want to extend my gratitude to Jack for filming this chat he gave as a part of Mental Health Awareness Week.

Thank you, Jack!

Self-destruction, schedule overload, silence

This is a short phrase I conceptualized in my Creative Performance Studies class on Sept. 24, 2018. Our professor, Kate Hilliard asked us to determine if we are using narrative, abstract or task-based processes. I used all three.

I gave myself the task to try and reach my left hand to my right hand while my right hand is stuck behind my back. From there, my narrative instincts created a plot with a clear beginning, interesting middle and emotional ending. Lastly, I analyzed my movement to be abstract in the sense that it mimics what my depression feels like.

Clip located here.

How do we approach a master class? (A 3-Part Exposition)

Part 1: The teacher

For Part 2, click here. For Part 3, click here.

For a class to be considered “masterful”, there must be an element that furthers the learning for the students. A teacher must be experienced in the certain subject they are teaching and are able to offer information unique to their career path. For example, a juggling coach would be perfect to teach a juggling class because they are able to demonstrate the action and work with the students to achieve the goal of 3 balls in the air. A juggling coach would not be perfect to teach a class on Thermodynamics because it is not in their field. It makes logical sense.

So then, why are there teachers, that are currently working right now, who show up unprepared and uneducated in their respective skills? If they are not a master of their craft, then they cannot offer a master class. They are free to explain to the students that possibly they are still in training or almost finished a degree of some kind, but it is vital that that information is being communicated to the students. Afterall, most teachers nowadays balance teaching jobs as they continue to study their respective subjects. Whether or not that is the case, a teacher cannot stand in front of a class of eager students and pretend to carry the appropriate education on their back. It will show very quickly if a teacher is under-qualified. In addition, the students are most likely paying for this service, making it immorally wrong.

Now, there are instances where a teacher may be asked a question by their student that the teacher cannot answer. This is maybe due to the fact that a student has taken the information they learned from their teacher and expanded upon it. This is a teacher’s ideal goal for a master class because it shows that the student is at a point in their learning process where they feel comfortable and able to create their own hypotheses. The old saying of “The student becomes the teacher” is, in all forms of pedagogy, exactly what a teacher wants for their students. While it might frighten the teacher, the students are supposed to transition out of being beginners. That is why a master class is a great opportunity.

Let’s gravitate to a more specific example: a dance teacher who offers a class in popping and locking. Whether or not the students are starting from scratch or are already well-versed in this style, the teacher should choose to promote this as a master class. This style is a strand of hip-hop that requires profound coordinating of usual body parts. Some teachers would even say that it is more difficult to learn than ballet. So, there must be some way that the teacher is setting the students up for being interested in the style. If the teacher is qualified, they are welcome to market themselves as a master of popping and locking and the students will then be able to have a better respect for their teacher.

It begs the question if all dance classes should be labelled with “master” in the marketing. Shouldn’t all dance teachers be masters if they are old enough to teach? Sadly, this is not a sound argument because there are instances where a dancer thinks they have automatically graduated to the status of teacher. It is agreeable to say that all dance teachers can dance, but it is inaccurate to say that all dancers can teach. Whether or not, a dancer has had impressive training in a countless number of styles, there is a different perspective when teaching dance. Ultimately, the dancer must switch their brain into a less egotistical frame of mind. This is not to say that dancers are selfish. Dance is a very community-based genre of art. However, dancers must be able to let go of trying to show off their capabilities so that the students are actually learning rather than just watching. A master class is not for a teacher to dance their own choreography or exercises and abandon the proper values of teaching. It is for students to take their skill level to new heights. If a dancer wants to choreograph a combination and have another person provide the teaching of it, that is perfectly fine too.

So, to aptly call a dance class “master”, the teacher must be educated in the style they are teaching as well as focused solely on the students’ growth throughout the class.

To conclude this section, a teacher’s role in a master class rests on their history of training and their ability to communicate how a student will get to be at that skill-level. Any wavering of this perspective will send the students down a reverse path of development. Similarly, if a teacher wants to sleep at night and feel like they are a great teacher, they must remember to put the students first. Teaching is not an easy task to do, but when done correctly, it has the potential to be very significant in a student’s life.

How do we approach a master class? (A 3-Part Exposition)

Part 2: The students

For Part 1, click here. For Part 3, click here.

Now, to move onto the other humans in the room. It is crucial to understand that there will be an immense variety of students in a master class, whatever the subject. Due to the natural developments of the human brain, every student learns differently and at a different pace. Therefore, if the student is having trouble understanding the teacher or the concepts at play, then it may not be their fault. Students should use this obstacle as a way to further understand what helps them to learn. Here’s an example: a student is taking a course on Data Management and the teacher asks them to read the next chapter out of their textbook. For some students, this technique caters towards independent learning which can be beneficial for shy students. According to this website, this is referred to as Solitary or Intrapersonal Learning. However, for other students, they would rather learn with the teacher’s voice as the whole group of students participate in discussion because it offers a sense of communal trust. This is called Social or Interpersonal Learning. Of course, there are many more ways to learn and these are what make humans special. Thus, blaming the student for their difficulties is absurd because it may be a simple change of trying a different teaching method.

Let’s switch gears here. Not to be negative, but what if the student really is the problem? It is an appropriate question to consider because when a teacher outputs all the information they can in a manner that is helpful for the specific student, it is up to the student to take it and run with it. Unfortunately, there can be students (mostly young) who take the opportunity of a master class for granted. They might see it as a normal thing that they get ever week or so and might never see the great privilege they are getting. They might pretend they are bored and try to mess around with the teacher in hopes of getting a laugh out of the other students. Even still, a teacher cannot be directly blamed if a student is acting out in class or disrespecting the environment. The goal for the teacher is that the students are mastering their skills, but this cannot proceed if the student has no discipline or curiosity for learning. Indeed, this may come as they mature. If the students really take into consideration how powerful class time really is, maybe they will stop wasting it with silliness. After all, they are probably not the ones paying the high fees for a master class.

It is evident how a student approaches a master class when they make a blunt mistake. For example, if a dance student falls while executing a pirouette turn, they may laugh about it, cry about it, brush it off, slap themselves for it, ask the teacher for more guidance, hide from the teacher… the list goes on. Mistakes are the most natural thing to happen in a master class, yet they are often seen as failure or weakness. Due to pressure from the others, the student may feel they cannot make a mistake because their peers would look down on them. This student dynamic will ruin the opportunity for growth, and make the students feel like they have to be perfect. So, whether it comes from the teacher, a parent, or the student themselves, making a mistake should be expected in a master class. Then the student can let go of any anxiety that’s stopping their development and strive to be better with each day. Nobody wants to feel like they are incapable of something great.

So, for a student to really “master” their skills and perform to the best of their abilities, they must honour the gift of class and set free any worry that they are going to look bad. This is easier said than done for some students, but if each and every student in the group is supporting one another, everyone can learn in the style that suits them best.

To conclude this section, here is a video of a young Brianna taking her first Stomp The Yard class with Dahlia Caro at Leeming Danceworks in 2012. Notice the fear in my face. I was the youngest of the group and definitely the least experienced with the style, but I remember feeling safe enough to try. Dahlia was always a very comforting teacher who wanted to see the best out of her students. Go check her out on Instagram here. This video documents an extremely scary moment in my life, however, I like to look back on it as a successful one too.